Would you like sass with that?

I've been watching the NBC Nightly News this week. I missed you, mainstream news media, your comforting schmaltz, your predictable patterns, your wide shot of all five talking heads we'll hear from in the next half-hour. I'm not saying your off the big board -- you're still on notice -- but daddy's come home. Given Brian's devilish handsomeness, the fact that I want something on while I cook and Simpsons hour isn't until 6 and the fact that I'm not going to get my news from some dame (CBS, what were you thinking?), NBC is my location.

Just kidding about Katie C., of course. If she were younger and 10 pounds lighter, I'd watch.

Anyway, enough phony misogny. Today's massive story was the Baker group's Iraq report. I love councils of elders. That's the whole problem with this war -- W. didn't consult one before he started it. Surely a wild band of old coots would've had the foresight to tell us that this would be a misadventure of most dire quality. And complained that we don't visit enough. Where are those grandkids?

My daily dose of clairvoyance came with Nancy Pelosi at the podium, glowing in a heavy-handed fashion that the council's recommendations lined up with what Democrats have been saying all along. As the smug satisfaction dripped from her botox-bonded age spots, my mind said most clearly and with one voice, "They're going to lose power. Those stupid fucks. They'll lose all self-control and make regular Americans fall in hate with the Democratic Party all over again."

I hope I'm wrong. But I feel I should tell you -- it doesn't happen very often.

It wasn't the statement; it was the way she said it. With better discretion of diction and gesture she could've come across as right without coming across without coming across as an ass. As it stands, at least she's paving the way for America's loathing of the Hillary 2008 campaign.