Monday, November 27, 2006

Blue Moon Endtimes

This is a song I thought up on the Indiana Turnpike about the after-rapture party I'm gonna throw for all the people left behind. It has music and everything.

"Oh, my Lord’s a-comin’ in 2053,
Yes, God’s comin’ back in 2053,
There’ll be beer and wine and women and song
Once the pious and righteous are gone,
God’s a-comin’ in 2053.

The better sheep, they will get taken with,
Yes, the better sheep they will get taken with,
Soon as the pope has gone for good
I’m stealin’ his car from his neighborhood.
The better sheep they will get taken with.

My baby’s going with them, but not me,
Yes my baby’s goin’ to heaven, but not me.
I’d object, but what’s the worth?
She wouldn’t give it up down here on earth,
My baby’s going to heaven, but not me.

The Bible tells me it’ll be a drag,
Yes, the Bible tells me it’ll be a drag.
I can handle all the tribulation
If the Christian Right has left the station.
The Bible tells me it’ll be a drag.

It’ll rain those frogs and toads and awful stuff,
Sure, it’ll rain those frogs and toads and awful stuff,
Bring ‘em in dozens and in tens
I’ve always like am-phib-i-ens.
It’ll rain those frogs and toads and awful stuff.

But things won’t be so bad down here, you’ll see.
No, things won’t be so bad down here, you’ll see.
We can rob and steal without disguise
When the goody-goods have been rapture-ized.
Things won’t be so bad below, you’ll see.

There’ll be plenty of open country come to pass,
There’ll be plenty of open country come to pass,
Once the Baptists are on the shelf
I’ll have the South all to myself.
Plenty of open country come to pass.

All my favorite folks are staying here,
Oh yes all my favorite folks are staying here,
Jon Stewart – he’s a Jew,
Prince and Liam Neeson too.
All my favorite people will be here.

Yes sir, God’s a-comin’ in less than 50 years,
Surely God’s a-comin in less than 50 years,
If it turns out wrong, I won’t be found
I’ll be prophesyin’ in another town,
God’s comin’ back in less than 50 years."

3 comments:

Elissa said...

Fantastic! Inspired by anything in particular on our "great adventure"?

A.G. Moseman said...

No. Not really. Just Indiana.

chaviva said...

Jon Stewart will be my Jew. I will birth his children.

Or not.

<3