Wednesday, July 12, 2006

More Love Every Day

You heard it here first -- Zenidine Zidane's name shall be America. I won't make any promises for France; the sports minister did call it a disgrace, and they did come agonizingly close to actually winning the World Cup.

But in the states, things are going to turn around. Commentators will remember that they never cared who won a soccer match, high stakes or no. And let's be serious -- with all that brooding over costing the team a game with a bonehead move out of their system, some will come around and stand behind Zizou for not putting up with this dego's nonsense. We believe people ought to play by the rules, but there are certain circumstances in which we tolerate -- nay, glorify -- violence. One of ours and Hollywood's favorites is a threat or insult against the family. If somebodys takes a shot at Harrison Ford, he restrains himself, but kidnap his family and it's fucking ON.

My absolute favorite part: Zizou apologizes for getting a red card, but not one bit for attacking an Italian who insulted women and children. You might as well paint a Snidley Whiplash moustache on the other guy -- our moral mind is going to be set in stone.

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